Originally Valentine’s Day began as a Christian liturgical feast day honouring one or more Saints. In more recent history, it has become a day associated with romantic love. And, of course, marketing and capitalism has run with that tradition and it has become a huge ‘thing’ that people then feel pressure around. This can cause internalized judgement as a result of the implication that if you don’t HAVE a Valentine or you haven’t found the BEST way to celebrate the love that you have with your partner then you are somehow ‘not good enough’.
Not so. If you think of this cultural holiday as just a reminder to think about love as it applies to your life then it becomes a mindfulness exercise about how you want to apply it. How do you want to love yourself on Tuesday? Lunch with a friend? Time alone? A hike in the woods? A new top? A glass of wine and a good book? How do you want to celebrate your partner? Homemade cookies? A new CD? A card or dinner out? Your friends? Your kids? If you have more time then be creative. Being creative benefits you as much as the other person because you get to spend the time being creative in your mind and that is often a stress reliever from life’s problems. If you don’t have someone special to celebrate with and it is hard for you to love yourself then volunteer and give love to others. Loving others bathes the giver in the loving energy too and it is a step towards self-love.
The important thing is that you know that you have the option of feeling judged and pressured by society to celebrate that day in a certain way OR you can consciously choose what makes sense to YOU! And that includes nothing. Doing nothing does not make you a person who isn’t loving. Doing nothing means that you aren’t choosing to honour the cultural holiday. Period. There doesn’t have to be any more meaning made of it than that. Just notice the day is approaching, think about the variety of options you have and choose what you want to do.
As for my relationship with all of you, I am grateful that you continue to read my posts and write to me about how valuable they are to you. If you didn’t give me that feedback I probably would’ve stopped long ago. And, quite frankly, every time I have to teach something, I get reminded to DO it and it helps me to ‘walk the talk’ at a more authentic level. So thank you, helping you helps me. I’m grateful for the impact that you have on my life.
So, if you want to get creative around Valentines Day then check out Pinterest…there are more ideas there than anyone would be able to create in a lifetime!!!
Love yourself and spread love…that’s all that really matters.
Written by Lee Horton-Carter. Lee Horton-Carter is an Individual, Couple and Family Therapist in Kitchener, ON at Sage Naturopathic Clinic. She believes that therapy and support groups can be fun, supportive, positive and resource-based while you are in the midst of a transition or difficult time. In addition to family therapy, she has specializations in trauma and PTSD, and offers Critical Incident Stress Debriefing, EFT and EMDR.
https://www.pinterest.com/explore/valentine-day-gifts/
